I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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