so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
meet me or not, i'm out of control
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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