It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
