I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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