i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
