so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I need to stop coming to work sober
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
