You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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