what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
