How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
