508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
