He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
