the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
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