I feel great
I just peed on a car
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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