she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Boobs speak an international language.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
