the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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