Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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