i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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