I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He? As in you personified your dick?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
