so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
