my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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