I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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