Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You ate ashes out of my bong
wow bdsm is so cute
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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