No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize