he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
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