After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize