so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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