Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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