I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
