STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
