Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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