i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
