Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
