alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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