You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
