and she was petting her beer can
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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