I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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