$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
