Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

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  (816): My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won. http://tfl.nu/68w0
  Replies (4) Good night (1046) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that

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  (949): even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that http://tfl.nu/ftma
  Replies (29) Good night (695) Bad night (4509)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.

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  (615): just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here. http://tfl.nu/npdf
  Replies (19) Good night (1004) Bad night (4691)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i think girls just don't want to fuck you

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  (908): the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father (973): i think girls just don't want to fuck you http://tfl.nu/fr5s
  Replies (31) Good night (2301) Bad night (6254)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.

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  (709): the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table. http://tfl.nu/ak9q
  Replies (5) Good night (2937) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.

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  (772): The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle. http://tfl.nu/irdh
  Replies (12) Good night (4103) Bad night (1586)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me

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  (714): im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me http://tfl.nu/k37i
  Replies (8) Good night (3618) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.

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  (918): Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help. http://tfl.nu/4c79
  Replies (8) Good night (1268) Bad night (3053)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.

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  (870): I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me. http://tfl.nu/cvaz
  Replies (9) Good night (2256) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Haha hell yea

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.

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  (980): You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday. (336): Haha hell yea (980): Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday. http://tfl.nu/pa5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1155) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.

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  (847): She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid. http://tfl.nu/spee
  Replies (3) Good night (1063) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.

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  (904): At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed. http://tfl.nu/y86x
  Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer

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  (405): And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer http://tfl.nu/voyh
  Replies (4) Good night (651) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.

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  (860): Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better. http://tfl.nu/zwl1
  Replies (4) Good night (1428) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?

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  (520): Did your surprise acid trip turn out well? http://tfl.nu/10os
  Replies (6) Good night (665) Bad night (503)

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