i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
