Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm gonna fight the coyote