you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.