There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
