remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
