I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
