So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
