if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
