his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
