So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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