Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
