Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
