I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize