dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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