I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
