I am spending my child support on dildos
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you would pick up someone in the library
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
