I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think people are normalizing furries
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
