I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize