How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
