he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
