were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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