it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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