ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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