We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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