Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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