the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
