does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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