I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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