my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
