Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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