Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
