Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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